I have had restless dreams over the past months. Finishing school in May was like being forced out of a comfortable pair of shoes and into a pair that I had not chosen. I looked at them with a sense of appreciation, but when it came down to leaving behind said comfortable shoes, what a sad day graduating was. That day, it rained, it sunned, I shook Bill Clinton's hand, and within 24 hours the proximal community I had thrived on for 4 years had dissolved. I am still close to many of you, and I know you are also close to many of you.
I was just in the middle of reading applications for next year's incoming class to Middlebury. I have been all over the country. I have read so many stories this year, lived vicariously through so many people. But I miss the day to day with all of you, I miss that sharing. So I am starting this collaberative web forum in the hopes that you will all contribute musings from your own lives as they are. If you are in China, Oregon, Florida, Colorado, Middlebury, San Francisco, or on the moon, your stories have a home on this forum. Here is one from me.
Last night, I dreamt that I went to work and decided to take off all my clothes to go to staff meeting. I thought it was a great idea in the dream, that it would liven things up. But on my way down the stairs, I saw that some very high profile people had come to talk to my boss. Suddenly the nudity I had so willingly embraced became embarassing. I remembered that I was supposed to feel ashamed. In the dream, I was shunned by everyone in the office. I woke up anxious, but relieved that the tableau remained a fiction in my brain. When I inevitably got around to thinking about the metaphorical implications such a dream had for me, I was stunned at the relevance it had to my feelings about openness. Sharing of myself is something that has been sustaining, terrifying, embarrassing, and vital. Sometimes when I open my door in a relationship, I become afraid and want to close it rather quickly. I remember the leaf over those parts that are supposed to be covered and simply want to put it back where it was before. I guess I'm advocating for all of us to throw down our damned fig leaves and be honest. Feel the cool breeze. Doff your fig leaves. I guess that would make this a story orgy? Hmm. . . sexual, but I like it.
I am grinning at my computer.
